Sportscenter Rant

I don't want to get on a rant here:
But fuck Sportscenter.
Seriously folks, does anyone actually watch it anymore, except for drunken frat boys who forgot to turn off the tv when they began fondling some poor, unsuspecting freshman girl after a mixer? Sportscenter has become the background noise for our and younger generations, just random highlights and commentary that is no longer up-to-the minute, no longer *that* insightful, and no longer interesting. Each segment gets smarmier (that's a word, look it up) with announcers trying to one-up each other with witticisms that would make even Dan Patrick roll his eyes and throw-up on his gigantic pile of hooker money. Sportscenter isn't anything like it was even five years ago, just a long, meandering, useless waste of advertiser's sponsorships. It has become elevator music for the next generation: mildly irritating, but you put up with it because, you know, you like sports, and the computers in the other room, so it stays on while you eat, poop, or both (not recommended). The announcers are cut from the same Patrick-Olbermann-Eisen cloth, except they're lame ripoffs, like "designer" jeans from Walmart or Jay Leno as a comedian. The gimmicks are inane, the commercials are numerous, and guys like Bilas, Gottlieb, Vitale, Mortensen and the like go on Sportscenter like its a contractual obligation, so they're pissed off and act like spoiled brats that didn't want to go school's talent show (AY OH!), making them even worse when they head back to their regular domains. And as an occasional day-time observer, I swear to god, if I see another cross-sport analysis (i.e. Jon Fucking Ritchie analyzing Kobe Bryant or Jalen Rose talking about Brett Favre) I will build a time-machine, travel back to 1984, and go Terminator on Chris Berman, whom I blame for all of this (if you don't know the "You're with me, leather" scenario, you need to so you can share my Berman-hatred http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/You're_with_me,_leather). That is all.